by Keith Scherer

In late October, WHM hosted our annual Sonship Week for pastors and ministry leaders. We were thankful once again for the assistance of Scotty and Darlene Smith (of Christ Community Church in Franklin, TN), Chuck and Debbie Holliday (of River of Life in Orlando, FL), Charlie and Ruth Jones (of Peculiar People), and other friends. Keith Scherer, Director of Worship Ministry at Naperville Presbyterian Church in Naperville, IL, was one of the attendees. These are his reflections on being drawn into the week.

Late summer and it was approaching. Just sitting there in my peripheral awareness. Friends were going. I’d even received an e-mail from my good friend Patric asking me to consider my part. But it probably wasn’t for me. After all, I didn’t need it that badly, right? You see, I’ve been fortunate (and grateful) to have been in a wonderful grace-filled church for the last 17+ years. Over that time my experience of the gospel and God’s grace has truly deepened, and continues to amaze me.

So, Sonship Week 2007? Not so much for me.

But as summer moved into fall, I started thinking, “You know, I do like grace. Maybe I could go and get something fresh out of the week; kind of a refresher course—Maybe even learn how I can better pass it on to others.” After all, I had been facing some difficult times that were pressing in on me. Now might be a good time. Little did I know what God had in store.

The Dragon

Do you remember the story of Eustace in C.S. Lewis’ Voyage of the Dawn Treader? The boy, Eustace, has become a dragon with a very painful gold bracelet around his foreleg. Aslan leads him to a well where Eustace tries to scratch off the ugly scales that form his hide. And of course he fails to get the job done. Not until he invites Aslan to do a deep, painful work of ripping off his dragon hide, does he find relief from the hurt, find healing, and experience a return to the boy he was meant to be.

I think I came prepared to scratch at the scales. But as the week progressed, I discovered anew that I, too, was a dragon who couldn’t come close to dealing with the ugliness of my own heart.

The Journey

Throughout the week, we had the great opportunity to sit under some wonderful, thought-provoking and life-stretching teaching on the heart of the gospel. Peculiar People shared sketches that continued to shed light on the gospel through humor and drama. Worship in song allowed all of us to continue to look to Christ and the cross, even while we were in the midst of painful, self-discovery. Time alone to reflect allowed God to speak to us right in the context of our week.

All of these experiences were important aspects of my week. However, most significant to me were the daily mentoring times with my assigned discipler, Scotty Smith. In this tough, gentle, challenging, safe, gospel-centered hour, we explored what God was saying to me about the condition of my own soul; about how the gospel really was such incredibly good news—yes, even for me—17 years into ministry at my home church.

My eyes were opened to areas of sin that I had been denying or just couldn’t see; self-centeredness, self-sufficiency, anger, contempt, hatred, pride, and arrogance, just to name a few. I began to understand that the difficult, ongoing experiences in my life were being used by God to expose deeper sins than I had been willing to admit. All so that God might work true freedom and transformation in my soul. All because He loves me more deeply than I could ever imagine.

You’re safe!

The mentoring time was really a microcosm of the entire week’s experience. For me, everything was characterized by being a totally safe community. I can honestly say that I have never before experienced this level of safety with others as I did during Sonship Week. It was this gospel-based, loving, relational approach that let me look at the hard things in my soul.

And it was this safety that let me collapse. All that God had been speaking into me through so many avenues came to a crisis point on Friday. Now, I’m fine with admitting that I have cried or wept. I’m not so good with letting others actually see it. But at the final communion service on Friday morning, I found myself completely undone, weeping with grief over life’s pains, and genuine sorrow over the newly discovered depths of sin in my life.

And so I collapsed. But the beauty of that moment is that I collapsed into God and discovered new depths of the gospel—the gospel for me. Collapse did not mean despair, but discovery. I suspect that I could or would not have gone there, had it not been that I knew I was safe.

What’s Next?

Whew! Gospel—got it. Check! Did that, done that…I don’t think so. This is a lifelong journey, pressing into the gospel, having the gospel press into me. But I’m growing in my repentance. I’m growing in seeing the good news in life’s difficulties. I’m growing in experiencing the love of Jesus. And I’m growing in hope. For, as Scotty said during the week, “You are destined to be as lovely and as loving as Jesus.”

That’s good news for all of us.